I guessed it right. It was only time before they would eventually discover a way to blog through mobile phones. I found these news stories on mobile blogging. CNET did a comprehensive article. The best stuff they highlighted were:

• Manywhere Moblogger is noncommercial software for posting text, images, audio or video to a Web log through a cell phone);
  
• WAPblog is shareware that allows users to post to a WAP page and the WAP page in turn posts entries to your Blog (amazing!!!) ; and,
  
• KABLOG, another shareware title that allows users to post to their Movable Type blog server directly. Drawback is your mbile device or PDA must be J2ME-enabled [which basically means you can't use your old PDA's ;-) ]
  

BBC News and Wired.com also did their own articles on the subject. I wonder when I'll be able to go Mobloggin'? Maybe when they lower the price of the Ericsson P800 -- which means, maybe never! LOL ;-) It's still 41,000 pesos (about US$770) around here.

I don't mind if I never do, though. I'll stick to my Blogger, this old PC and my heathen thoughts. They made a perfect threesome so far.

Last night, after having my fill of late night shows, I decided to go to bed. I checked on our baby and tucked him in a second time, just to make sure the blankets don't get pulled from under him when he stirs. After that, I lie down beside my wife. With her back to me, I casually drape my arms around her. She stirs and turns to me. Still fast asleep, I lie there watching her face. The wind from the electric fan was blowing wistfully at the hair on her forehead. She had a tiny smile on her lips. Her whole face radiated with beauty. I was not of the skin-deep superficial beauty we've come to expect of other people, but rather a beauty that seemed to radiate from within. It was almost surreal, almost like an invisible aura that one could only see if your own eyes went beyond the physical; always there but not always seen. She's as beautiful as the day I met her.

I met her eight years ago. She and I were never really close, that is until we spent more time with each other a year and a half ago. It all started with cupsof coffee over my breaks. It was destiny, I tell you. How else could I describe it? We became close when the time was right. I came scathed from a flurry of relationships that didn't seem to work. She came from a long-term relationship that ended in anger and resentment. We were the perfect match because of one reason -- we had the ability to heal each other emotionally. We fell in love and it seemed that all the world faded in the background. And that was it. We got married after five months. It's funny to look back now and realize that the only thing we fought about back then was time. We could never get enough of each other's company, with her hectic work schedule and my neurotic outbursts complicating things a bit. I decided to propose when I realized that was going to be a problem for us. Pretty practical solution, enit?

When I closed my eyes last night, she was fast asleep. I couldn't bring myself to sleep for about 30 or so minutes. I kept opening them again to look at her. I was mesmerized each time I did. I whispered a prayer to thank God, for he blessed me with a wife I love dearly.

What is it about Josh Groban? Just about every married woman I know is raving about him. I don’t get it. The guy’s a great singer, yeah. But he get’s featured on Oprah and then suddenly he is catapulted into fame and into the fantasies of married women around the world. Is Oprah that powerful? Well, maybe Tony Blair should hire her to convince the Brits that the war on Iraq is justified. LOL ;-)

A few days after Valentine’s, one of the members of our parenting mailing list raved how her hubbie had given her a Groban DVD set imported from the US. It cost the poor guy around 1,800 pesos (about US$35). Just to give you an idea of how much that’s worth here in the Philippines, Nick our American friend took us out to dinner the night before Valentine’s. That’s how much he spent for all eight of his guests.

Going back to the mailing list; after a day three people replied. A few days passed, and there were about ten people talking about him. A week had gone by and the thread kept going. There were about 30 or so messages a day about Groban. I typically get 50 messages a day from this mailing list, so that’s a lot of Groban for a man to handle. One wifey even bragged about the fact that her children were emulating Groban while they watched him. Come oooooonnnnnn! I mean children are impressionable. Of course they’ll imitate Groban after watching him again and again. Try watching a Metallica with your children every day for a week. Will they not bang their heads in unison with Jason Newstead after a few days of watching? Another fan-cum-mother told the group she had Groban blaring full volume all day, much to the chagrin of her neighbors. She also noted that she didn’t care if her neighbors didn’t `appreciate’ her doing so, as long as she and her kids enjoy. Talk about inciting a riot (she being the cause – LOL).

I find nothing wrong with being a fan of a particular artist. I myself enjoy Dave Matthews, John Mayer, Sarah McLachlan and a slew of other bands and vocal artists. My wife is a huge DMB fan herself. But I do find it ridiculous that people talk about Groban like he was sent down from heaven to deliver a divine message. Well, he’s not. All this media buzz is getting into their heads. And when all the fuss is over, I wonder if they’ll still play his songs 5, 10 or 20 years from now.

With the advances we're seeing in mobile technology, I expected a hoax email I received lately. It warned of a virus infecting mobile phones. Well, thanks to a level-headed colleague who sent evidence this was a hoax, I was able to allay the fears of many friends. A virus infecting mobiles isn't that far-off in the future, especially now that mobiles are use to access the Net. But it isn't possible, just yet. Don't worry, people are already working on making your mobiles safe from security threats like viruses and trojans.

I've started reading about an ancient Japanese form of poetry that's all the rage in literary circles today. The secret to it's success? It's simple, straightforward, and leaves everything to a reader's imagination. It's called Haiku. Here's an example of Haiku poetry. Very subtle verse from the master himself...

"omokage ya
oba hitori naku
tsuki no tomo"

(now I see her face,
the old woman, abandoned,
the moon her only companion)

-Basho (Matsuo Basho)

Mail Mayhem

Hey, ever wondered what changes would take place now that Google owns Pyra Labs? There are a lot of opinions out there -- from the superficial (changing interfaces and so forth) to the downright funny.

Anyway, today I had to change mail servers. There aren't a lot of free POP email providers out there. It's sad to note that after all these long years, Softhome.net has decided to reduce the amount of storage for it's non-paying members. What used to be 15MB of space for 500 messages is now down to 6MB for 150 messages. I sure hope Hotpop doesn't follow suit. Right now, they still give 10MB to non-paying subscribers. I would hate to be stuck with webmail. Don't get me wrong though. There are a few webmail providers out there that provide an outstanding service. But I do belong to a few mailing lists and it's more convenient for me to dowload mail. I typically get 30-50 messages a day on each of them. Think of the time I'll have to spend just checking all that mail. And time online means money. Here in this country, we still pay for dial-up in minutes. We don't have that many flat-rate ISP's over here. Most of them are concentrated around Metro Manila. They don't operate where I live. Too bad.

While we're on the subject of email, I found this Tucows software review in one of my forays into the web. It's a review of something called the Mailwasher. It's software that helps your email client filter out spam, chain letters and warns you of viruses in your mail. The FAQ says it'll work with Netscape Mail, so I guess I'll testdrive this baby over the weekend. When you register though, you'll be asked for a minimum $3 donation. That's cheap, considering most software today costs an arm and a leg. That's why piracy lives on. People want their software cheap. "Vox Populi, Vox Dei", I dare say.

Just came back from my shopping spree. I was unable to buy grape jelly because a small jar of blueberry preserve caught my eye. There was no question in my mind when I picked up that small jar. It cost 50% more that the grape jelly, but what the heck! It`s alright to splurge on some things from time to time. That includes anything blueberry. And since I can`t have blueberry cheesecake anymore, I`ll settle for blueberry randomly splattered on my pancakes. It`s just heavenly.

Anyway, it was a short trip through the aisles. I spent only 20 minutes in there. A minor victory for a recovering impulsive buyer. All I need to do now is to stop nagging my wife when I pick up things after her. If i do that, she`ll stop calling me obsessive-compulsive ;-)

It`s my day-off today. As always, I have nothing to do. I got out of bed at 9:30 am. I always sleep late since I work from 1pm to 9 in the evening. I drank my meds and ate a siopao for breakfast. Then I turned on me wife`s PC. I did some editing on a document she typed last night. I then proceeded to edit my blog.

I have been trying to fix a prob with my blog`s graphics. I'm on blogger free, so I have to hotlink to my graphics (hosted on another server). For the Nth time, I uploaded the banners again and re-typed the script. I must have made a mistake when I first edited the scripts on my blog, for Lo and Behold! This time they worked. That's what I get for not knowing HTML -- LOL! I only do tinkering now and then. Then I tend to forget what I've learned in previous experiments. I'll be adding more eye candy to my from now on. Just small touches here and there to make it feel a little more homey.

Later, I`ll be dropping by duty-free. I need to buy sneaker shampoo, hair gel, peanut butter and a jar of grape jelly. For the life of me, I cannot understand why I`m so addicted to Peter Pan. I mean I even use it as dip. I use it on bananas too. Last night, I was watching Discovery`s Travel and Adventure Channel. It was a feature on Elvis Presly and Memphis. There`s a restaurant over there that specializes in Peanut Butter-Banana sandwiches, apparently one of the King`s favorites. I have to try it one of these days.

Oh, well. It`s another day for the mundane. :-) Wish me luck!

With a renewed interest in Google, I did a search on my name. Remember that article from the Boston Globe? I finally gave in after curiosity got the better of me. I was surprised that it found my name so quickly. Two of the results were pages of a newspaper I once wrote for. One was a news article in the Philippine Daily Inquirer that quoted me. Those were the top 3 results. The others that followed were for people who happen to share my name. Google lists its results according to popularity, so I was especially pleased to find I had the top spots.

Even more curious, I typed in “daysleepered”, the name of my blog. I was dying to see if my weblog would be listed on the top spot. It was after all, my baby. There was only one result. It was someone else`s page. My heart sank. My blog wasn’t popular enough. But I gave it a second look. I read it and I was, to put it bluntly, taken aback by what I saw. The only result showed the opening page of Barefoot and Happy. Shoeless J had linked to me! My heart almost melted with pride. It was the first time that anyone linked to me! Barefoot and Happy was one of the first blogs that caught my eye. It was always interesting to visit that blog. I find I share most of Shoeless J`s political and humanitarian views.

Up until now, I was convinced that I was linking to myself. I listed myself in 2 blog registries, hoping that some hapless soul would stumble upon me blog. It feels like sending yourself roses on Valentine`s. I was so engrossed in self-pity that I had begun to email friends in the past couple of weeks, asking them to tell their friends to visit my blog. That was weird for me to do. I had always believed it was wrong to email someone a link to promote your site. Maybe I was caught in that mindset because of all the spam/junk mail I have been getting lately. I feel spam violates what little privacy we have left as netizens. Shoeless J`s simple act of editing her links made a big difference. Call me naïve if you want to. That little search changed my attitude towards blogging – for the better.

Tremendous news here -- Google just bought Blogger! Is this the end of free blogging as we know it? Will this development make blogging with Blogger better or will it change blogging for the worse? With 1.1 million bloggers blogging happily away, it had better be for the better. Frankly, Blogger is the best. There isn't any other service out there worth exploring.

Shower Shenanigans

While I was taking a shower earlier this evening, I thanked myself that I installed a new shower head a week ago. It wasn`t much. Considering all of the options, I bought a cheap replacement for the one in our apartment. The old one was one of those plastic shower heads that had the same color as aluminum. The new one, albeit still plastic, is better. It was fun shopping for that particular model.

When we went shopping at SM, I decided to duck into ACE Hardware and buy one. All of the wonderful models (the ones with massage settings) were priced quite high. Three thousand pesos is a bit too much for me. Add to that the fact that the backs of their boxes displayed the phrase, "For High Pressure Only", or something to that effect. So, I went to the aisle where they had the mass produced plastic ones. Most of them were priced 99 pesos. They looked like the old one at home, only different in color. I decided to have a look-see around for alternatives. The bottom shelves caught my eye. I knelt down on one leg and examined the shower heads. The one I looked at had thicker plastic, more durable it seemed. They were in four colors -- white, grey, beige and maroon. I decided to buy one of the grey colored showers for 199 pesos. If it broke, that would be OK. We were after all renting an apartment. It made sense to avoid splurging on fixtures.

When I got home, I immediately set off to install it. Since I was lacking the necessary plumbing implements, I used an equally dextrous pair of tools -- my hands. I unscrewed the old shower and tried screwing on the new one. After making sure that the new shower was a perfect fit, I unscrewed it and proceeded to apply a lot of Teflon tape to the pipe threads. It was a lot, I tell you. Enough to make the pipe a tight fit when I screwed it back onto the wall plumbing. After I was done, I proudly told the missus to wait until the next morning to try it. I said that in part to boost my handyman ego. But really, you can't be too careful. The water might leak out through the pipe`s threads if the Teflon wasn't totally set yet. But given the low water pressure in our neighborhood, I could get more pressure if I took a leak after downing a gallon or two of beer. A leak would be out of the question. Our shower has done fairly well, though. Enough so that I have thank myself every time I shower. :-))

20 Minutes

I woke up about half an hour ago. Our baby was fussing a lot. I tried to appease him by rubbing his back and lightly tapping his thigh. That usually works. It helps him sleep again. Our baby guide says we should start training our baby to feed less during the night. It will help him adjust so he won't wake up late at night to feed when he`s a bit older. This time though, I had to get up and mix some formula.

After feeding our baby, I felt hungry as well. It's been hours since my last meal. That was 7 pm last night. No wonder. I rummaged through the cupboards and just remembered that I consumed the last of the graham crackers yesterday afternoon. That stuff is great. Give you lots of fiber, makes you feel full and satisfied. I finally found some cereal bars to munch on. The cereal bars aren't as big as the American brands (like Nature Valley), but they're filling enough to stave away the hunger pangs of early morning bane.

So what am I doing posting so early in the morning? Well, studies have shown that it takes up to 20 minutes before you`re stomach tells your brain that it`s full. This medical fact was given more creedence when dieticians and researchers studying the diet of Okinawans were told that the elders of the island, "Eat until they are eight-tenths full." The Okinawans have one of the lowest incidence of heart disease in the whole world. They also happen to have the most number of people from any single population to have so many centenarians. It makes sense to listen to them.

Well, I`m going offline now. My twenty minutes are up. I`m still hungry! :-(( I`m getting another cereal bar --LOL :-))

Drip Dilemma

Just got back from the doctor. It was quite a wait, since he was tied up in the Hospital OR performing a few procedures. I was his third patient for the day. He explained the results of the biopsy he took. All the cells seem normal and there are no signs of cancer in my esophagus or stomach. I only have the ulcers to worry about. He went through the list of food I should avoid. He did so with the fervor of a priest delivering a sermon. Then he gave me a new prescription.

After that long wait, I went to a nearby ice cream parlor (of all places!) to eat. Burgers are great a Frosty's, what can I say? I ordered the hamburger plate. They dished it out after 5 minutes. Talk about fast food. Anyway, the hamburger was served on a plate, garnish on the side, with fries to boot. I specifically asked that they refrain from putting any ketchup on it. My wish was granted and the mayo and ketchup dispensers were served at my table.

I put the lettuce, cucumber and pickle in. Fortunately, all of them weren't dripping. I cannot count the times I've tried ordering a hamburger at a new place and ended up taking the dripping garnish out. I hate garnish that drips from the side of your burger. Call me obsessive-compulsive, but it annoys me.

It was kind of weird to leave the tomato on the plate, all by its lonesome. Weirder still that I put a little mayo and no ketchup. But what can I do? I don't want to feed off a dripping I.V. line again. Enough of the drips, I say.

Of Tomato Troubles and Hopias

Last night, me and the wife cooked dinner for a visiting friend. He had been busy the last 9 months working out a fiancé visa for his girlfriend. Now, he’s in the Philippines to take her back home to the US.

We cooked chicken parmesan served with a herby tomato sauce on pasta. We filleted the chicken breast and wrapped it in parmesan breading and fried that in olive oil. That gave it a wonderful flavor. The sauce was a mix of our basic tomato sauce and few herbs. It was a wonderful meal. They all enjoyed it, except me.

Looking back, it’s been three weeks since I was rushed to the hospital. The diagnosis was that I had ulcers in my stomach and I had what’s called a
Hiatal Hernia. The latter causes severe pain when my acid is acting up. The pain attacks would eventually develop into anything from severe heartburn to GERD, if left untreated. Or worse, the hernia could tie a knot on top my stomach if it slides into my esophagus. An occurence that will cause internal bleeding.

Bottom line is I can’t eat tomatoes and dairy. That includes products made from them, which probably eliminates most of the pasta dishes I know. I also need to avoid fatty food, even if it’s cooked in canola or olive oil. The doctors surmise that both are still fatty, even if they contain a pretty good amount of good cholesterol. Crossing out olive oil, that leaves us with 98% of all pasta I could cook virtually eliminated from my diet. Not to mention most of the other food I was eating before I was diagnosed. I’m not allowed to drink any soda, coffee and fruit juice as well. It’s been a tough three weeks, I tell you. Especially now that my days are devoid of coffee.

So now, I watch what I eat. I read labels, ask waiters what’s in my food, and so forth. And every meal must be timed by a few hours. I don’t go by the three-square-a-day rule anymore. Small and frequent is what I do. Which reminds me… I have to eat breakfast now. Ah! We have diced hopia! Strangely, it’s label states the brand Junior Macao. It’s amusing to find that the Chinoys have adopted the funny way Pinoys create nicknames. Of course, considering alternatives such as Junior Bumbay, Boy Bangkal or Bertong Kulane, I'd take Junior Macao any day.

This morning, I found myself in most wonderful circumstances. The house was empty, save for my baby boy and me. After feeding him, I carried him on my shoulder to burp him. I sat down on a sofa near a window. The weather was cool and a flock of birds decided it was nice cool weather for them as well. They chirped outside, unmindful of how late into the morning it was. As my baby lay on my shoulder half-asleep, he sighed twice. Then it hit me so suddenly! My heart swelled with pride and love. I was taking care of this little child who will one day be a man like myself.

As I was holding him, I realized how fragile he was. He needed me to protect and take care of him. I heard myself wish we could be like this forever. Boys grow, and soon forget their fathers. I’ve been there. I hope that he won’t forget me when he grows up. I hope he’ll remember the mornings I carried him in my arms and felt proud to have been his father. I hope he remembers how much I loved him when it’s his turn to carry his own son in his loving arms. I hope he remembers . . . That much would be enough.

I just happened to read this two-week-old article in the Boston Globe. Found it while reading someone else's blog and I was so intrigued by his opinion that I went on to read the article. It's spooky what technology can do. Even a random search using a seemingly harmless search engine can actually ruin a person's life. I think I'm going to try a search on my name. Just to satisfy my curiosity and see if any skeletons in my closet have seen the light of the Net.

The other day, I found myself inside SM-Pampanga. I had always hated going to shopping malls, this one in particular. I always had to fight off my incessant urge to buy whenever I descended into the great bowels of this beast known to many as a haven of shopping. As me and my wife found ourselves winding up and down the abyssimal depths of its insides, I constantly found myself longingly looking at the display windows we passed. Shirts…Watches…Coleman Camping gear…PDA’s…Phones…Notebook PC’s…Patio furniture… Four-poster bed…50-inch Projection TV! I was almost in a frenzied panic. Gadgets, gizmos and everything else! All under one roof! I told myself in my best Capt. Kirk voice, “Must find . . . safe place. . . to . . . hide.”

So when my wife asked that we drop by Watson’s, I hardly objected. What could a guy possibly buy in a beauty store? I was wrong to presume that! Those “buy one, get the next one for one peso” deals are irresistible. I walked away from Watson’s 5 pounds heavier, looking for another store to pillage. The shopping buzz was fueling my adrenaline.

We grabbed a quick lunch and proceeded to National Bookstore. We had an hour to kill before our movie started. We bought 4 colorful picture books for our baby. I also bought a book called The Children’s Treasury of Verse. It’s a wonderful collection of an assortment of poems with illustrations by Patricia Ludlow. My baby’s too young to enjoy it, but what the heck. I’m reading the book myself and I’m rediscovering my inner child. All those wonderful pictures…LOL!

Exhausted from containing my book buying frenzy, I whipped out the free movie passes in my wallet. I had to look away from the money in my wallet while I fished them out. We went to see LOTR (that is, Lord of The Rings to the uninitiated). It was a great movie and the cinema was devoid of people rushing to see it. That’s what I love about SM. They show movies for up to three weeks. You can catch it after all the curious folk have had their share of SRO lines. I’m a Tolkien fan myself and I abhor those long lines. It’s a sign that the corrupt capitalist movie execs are reaping-in profits from ripping off a dead author. It’s a blasphemy to behold such a sight! I would have turned over tables if I had seen those queues.

As we walked out of the cinema, I was pleased to have satisfied my appetite for destruction after watching the grand battle scene at the end of the movie. Then it hit me again! All those glamorous displays were beckoning.

To satisfy my compulsion and finally end the day, we went grocery shopping. I had to mutter a prayer when we were done. The first was to thank all the good souls who gave us gift cheques last Christmas. God Bless them all! We were able to buy what we wanted and needed for our baby thanks to those gift cheques. I whispered another prayer for God to help me carry all five of our shopping bags. He must have heard me. I didn’t feel my back ache until we got home. Argh! The beast got the best of me.

Another Coño Story

Title says it all. LOL ! Read on....

==================
I was about to take a snooze inside a bus en route to our place when I chanced upon two coñitas seated in front of me.

"My God! Why can' t he move faster naman? We're running late na, you know."

"Kainis!" said one craning her neck to see why we were moving at snail's pace.

"I sooo agree with you. Primarily, the driver should make pot-pot to make madali that kotse ahead," replied the other who was able to think of a solution while eyeing her newly polished nails.

"Buti pa you. You can make kita the kotse na hadlang. Here, it's sooo bomalabs--gosh!" rejoined the other, her eyes moving heavenwards ala-Exorcist as she did.

"Basically, ganon na nga. This is sooo, you know, Third World, gosh!" agreed the other also in a fit of demon possession as her eyes rolled in the same direction. She then checked on her cellphone.

At this point, I wanted to "make hila" their hairs until their necks snap off or at least stick my finger up my throat and "make vomit" in front of them. But I "primarily" resisted the urge and chose to, "you know," just listen on.

"You know? I'm really inis with Derek. He has been ignoring me when we're together pero he keeps making parinig with Letty naman how much she likes me daw. Hay naku, he's so torpe!" began the other.

"Why? What happened ba? Make kwento naman," the intrigued other egged on.

"Like...you know...like...it's like...you know..." began the first.

"Yeah, I understand...you're so kawawa, you know," the other empathized without realizing why. They must be true friends.

Still, I had to scratch my head and start looking for a bomb I could throw at them. Unfortunately, there was none "naman."

"So what's the kwento nga? Make me intindi naman," urged the other after realizing that no information was given.

"Wag na lang kasi it's just tungkol about stuffs and things," hedged the other, suddenly turning secretive.

"Ayan, you're making tago na important things to me, ha?!" said the other feeling slightly, er, slighted. "Alam mo you're always like that, hmph!"

"Like what?"

"'Like that, hmph! Akala ko pa naman we're close."

Silence.

"Uuuyyy, friend," the other said embracing her friend. "Don't make tampo na. It's just that medyo shy ako to give you the details coz you might think I'm sooo mababaw and all about my love affairs. Sheeet naman kasi talaga si Derek!"

"So make kwento, hmph" the other said just a tad colder.

"It's like this, see? The other night we were at this bar and...uhmm... we were seated together ganyan," the girl told while demonstrating with her hands where she and her crush were seated.

"Talaga! O, tapos?" the other girl said incredulously as if the seating position was an important clue in an unsolved mystery.

"It's true!" trilled the other warming up to her tale. "Then, all our officemates left us kasi they wanted to give us time daw to get to know each other daw. They said, 'Alis muna kami so you two can have time together.' Tapos they went, 'Uuuyyyy!!!'"

"Yikes, grabe! Major dyahe, hihihi!"

"Major kilig kamo, hihihi!"

However, their chitchat was cut short when the conductor approached them.

"Bayad na ba kayo?"

"Opo, manong," they chorused.

"Opo?" "Manong?" But they were about as old as the conductor-Duh!

"Anyway, go on, hihi," came the follow-up as soon as "manong" was no longer within earshot.

"Ay, oo nga, hihi...I'm so kikay na ba?"

"Hindi naman...you're just being totoo to yourself!"

Duh!

"Ok, here it goes: So nandun lang kami sa mesa, right? Tapos I was, like, looking so naïve and all, right? Just making tusok-tusok the sisig and all but not really eating. Syempre para hindi obvious that I was gutom and all, di ba? Kaso-and this is so annoying-he wasn't talking! We were, like, tuods for more than five minutes straight, I swear!"

"Yeah, I believe you, girl. Tapos?"

"Tapos the reason pala why he wasn't talking-and Letty told me this after, ha?-was because asiwa daw siya to tell me that my-Oh my God! This is so kahiya, huhuhu" the girl exclaimed suddenly and then pretended to cry.

"What? Oh my God! What?!?"
"Bukas pala my blouse and my bra was showing, huhuhu" came the punch line
accompanied with mock tears.

"Hahaha! Oh my God, that is sooo kahiya, I swear! Pero teka, girl, hindi mo ba talaga sinadya? Fess up!"

"No, no? I mean, gosh naman, kahit he's so cute and all, hindi ako kikay, hello?" the girl rebutted a little offended.

"Ay, oo naman, yeah, I agree. Yikes, kawawa ka nga naman."

"Well, ganyan talaga my life, it's so full of pighati and all," the girl said milking the situation.

"Oo nga. Anyway, we have to-Eekk!!!" the other girl screamed suddenly.

"Why?!? Oh my God! Why?!?" came the trembling query.

"Look at that ipis, it's so big!"

"Yikes, oo nga...and..and..and it's heading this way! Eeekkkk!!!"

Panicked by the screams, everyone was roused. The conductor quickly came to see what the matter was.

"Manong, there's an ipis in your PUB!"

"Ha? Ano'ng PUB?" the bewildered conductor queried.

"Bus daw," I enlightened flatly.

"Yes, c'mon-make apak-apak it naman before it makes gapang-gapang to us and...and... spread germs," said the other coñita in a terrified tone.

I stood up and promptly squashed the insect with a single aim.

"Manong, be gentle naman. It's still a living thing kasi, eh," they told me.

I looked at them purposefully then squashed the "ipis" some more until it's yellow bile showed.

"Eeewww!!!" the girl's squirmed, their faces distorted in an unrecognizable form.

I kicked the roach under their seats.

"Aaaiiyyeehhh!!!" they both screamed and hugged each other.

"Ay, sorry," I said in a tone that signified the opposite.

"Girl, let's go down na nga, hmph! Kasi, like, andaming jologs dito, hmph!" the other said looking miffed. " O, fix you're blouse, ha? Baka you make paboso na naman to everyone."

"Oo nga, hmph! Like, Tara!"

Like, good riddance.

Naranasan mo na ba yung bigla ka na lang mahihinto sa ginagawa mo at tatanaw sa kung ano na wala naman sa harap mo? Kagabi, habang nagtatrabaho ako, bigla na lang akong natitigil sa ginagawa ko. Hindi ako makapag-isip ng diretso, kanya lumabas ako para maglakad. Sabi ko, tutal break time magpapahangin muna ako.

Duon tumambad sa akin ang kasagutan, sa kawalan. Para bang ang lahat ay biglang tumatawag ng aking pansin. Ang tahimik na pagmamasid ng higanteng tower ng array antennas sa harap, ang lupaypay na sanga ng mga acaciang nakapaligid, ang huni ng mga cicada, ang walang-tigil na pag-ugong ng malalaking A.H.U.`s (air-handling units), ang biglang ubo ng sikyu sa malayung banda ng parking lot. Sa gitna ng lahat ng ito, hindi mapalagay ang dibdib ko. Pakiramdam ko`y nag-iisa ako, na hindi ako kabahagi sa paligid na ginagalawan ko. Napatingin ako sa langit, umaasang makakita ng sagot o kahit bahid man lang ng katibayan na may nakikinig sa mga panalangin ko. Pero tulad ko, madilim at malungkot ito. Sa pagtitig ko sa kawalan nito, duon ako nakaramdam ng konting takot. Ayoko ng ganoon, naisip ko. Ayokong mag-mistulang langit ng kawalan. Dahil ang ibig sabihin ng 'wala’ ay dalawa lang – umpisa, o kaya`y hangganan. Saan nga ba nanggaling ang lahat kundi sa 'wala'. Duon din babalik ang lahat, sa 'wala'.

Kagabi ay una sa dalawang gabing umuwi ako na wala ang asawa ko. Halos isang taon na akong umuuwi sa kanya. Naalala ko tuloy ang suyo ko sa kanya nuon. Sabi ko, pangarap ko na umuwi sa kanya, matulog na yakap s`ya at gumising sa halik n`ya. Natupad naman ang lahat ng iyon. Ayokong mahinto ang pangarap, kanya napupuno ng pangamba ang puso ko sa tuwing nalalayo kami sa isa`t -isa. Pangamba ko, baka hudyat na ito ng hangganan -- `dangkasi`y wala s`ya.