Dreams...

Dreams

Last night I had a dream. I rarely do, but recently I've been having
more and more of these strangely (seemingly) symbolic dreams.

I was in the office parking lot, admiring 2 cars I owned. Both looked
like 50's era classics. Both were the same make, but the older one
was black and the newer one was white. They didn't have white
sidewalls or chromed hubcaps, so they looked like halfway through
being restored. From where I was standing, I reminded myself that I
had brought them there after I had them filled up from a nearby gas
station and that it was time to get them home. I circled over to the
back of the parking lot trying to catch up with someone who was
walking away from me.

After circling, I suddenly found myself in the middle of a group of
vehicles (most likely a convoy) filled with military men. In the
middle of a group was a small bus that was being raised on giant jacks
for repair. Not finding the person I was looking for, I found myself
back on the front side of the parking lot nearest my cars. It had, by
then, been fenced off with material common to construction sites here.
Since it was made off of bamboo skin weaved like a giant mat, I was
able tear a hole and get to the other side. After moving to the other
side, the waning sunlight suddenly turned into the darkest night. A
few pale street lights loomed in the outer borders of the parking lot.
I saw a small yellow car leaving the lot, a one of my supervisors in
the back seat waving goodbye to me. I couldn't find my cars and I was
having second thoughts about waving them back to hitch a ride. A
moment of silence passed as I stood there.

I woke up. I felt empty, afraid and confused. I looked over to where
my wife and son were sleeping. Morning was about ready to break.
Dazed, I was trying to figure out why I felt so bad.

The last three days, I spent mostly at home or running errands. The
last three days went by like a blur. I lost track of time, kept
forgetting things and constantly worried about my son and my wife's
condition. My mind wouldn't stop churning out morbid thoughts, running
worst case scenarios. I was preoccupied with thoughts of my mortality,
philosophical and otherwise.

I feel like breaking down, again...