I hate this. I just had to listen to it one more time. I put the cd on and it brought back a lot of happy albeit depressing memories. It brought me back to a time when depression was a part of my everyday routine. I'm was an emotional wreck back then. Well, maybe I still am. May be that's how I am built.

I'm taking about the Julia Fordham Collection. See, for me most music is related to a time, a place or both. It's like time in a bottle. I open these audible time capsules every now and then. It sort of brings me back to the emotions of that time and place.

Going back to Julia Fordham, It reminds me of the time when I was still courting the missus. I was in a constant emotional rollercoaster at the time. I was always depressed. I constantly wanted to be with her and if that was not possible a state of depression came over me. Julia Fordham was a constant companion of mine during those depressing times that I was alone. Not a few heads turned whenever I told friends I listened to her. Maybe they found it odd that a heterosexual male like myself would find the emotional wailing of a transexual appealing. But I WAS emotional. The songs were filled with emotion. It did not matter to me who it was behind the song. I could "feel" the songs as I listened to them. That was what was important to me.

Anyway,I still listen to this every now and then. It depresses me still, but in a good way. It mellows me out nowadays. I'm always so high-strung i need a little dose of depression. Do I sound like a junkie trying to achieve the elusive balance between downers and uppers?