Everybody's been asking me lately why I didn't apply for the job position in Training. It was afterall a promotion. Well, I did apply for it. I talked about it a few weeks ago (march 16 entry). I got an interview. I didn't pass. Last week, they announced the 4 guys that did pass.

Every time someone asks, I've had to fight off an unnerving urge to run away screaming, pretending I've gone stark raving mad. I just don't have to heart to tell everyone that I failed miserably. Sometimes I manage a pathetic reply like, "I'm more comfortable where I am right now..." or a some other vaguely similar excuse. Other times, all I can muster is a shrug and an equally miserable, "Nah!"

I'm actually OK with it, except when someone mentions it and reminds me I failed miserably because I couldn't hack it. I had it in me, I know. But I buckled under pressure. I choked. And I'm making up excuses again. Damn! Will I ever see the end of this?