I'm obsessing again. Is there such a word -- obsessing? Anyway, I've really, really, really got gnawing thought that I can't seem to shake. I've been thinking a about building a computer. It's not an entirely novel idea, nor is it a new one. I've given thought to it a few times in the past few years. I haven't really done it just yet.

Lately though, the idea seems stuck in my head. I think about it all the time. while riding the jeep, while watching the news, before I go to sleep. Do you personally know a sane person that thinks about motherboards before he goes to sleep? This is crazy!

Whatever I do, I can't stop thinking about it. I've spent countless coffee breaks reading reviews of components, searching for the right motherboard and checking prices online. I even subscribed to an online store's mailing list to get a weekly update on prices. I've started to frequent a pinoy techie site to brush up on the subject. I've emailed articles to numerous friends, asking their opinion about which parts would strike a balance between price and functionality. I feel like I know a lot more now, theoritically that is.

It's not like we could afford one right now. Between my son's educational plan and the residential lot we're paying for, we aren't really saving that much. Whatever is left is put in the bank. My money is no longer mine these days. Its part of a common fund -- LOL. Our fund. Sometimes, that makes me feel, I dunno, deprived (?) Having given up the power to decide what I could do with money I earn, I feel "deprived", like I'm helpless. Ego issue? Yeah, maybe. I think I need to re-evaluate my ego. It's getting the best of me, overshadowing the obvious fact.

A computer could wait...No, it should wait. It's a want rather than a need. And as rational thought would have it, I should think less about it and devote the rest of my dying braincells to more noble pursuits. The problem is how to stop thinking about it. Darn. I'm obsessing alright.