This morning I visited my father's grave. Since I have Friday nights off, I decided to go there a day early of the "Undas" pilgrimage. It did take me 2 hours to get there. A truck had an accident on the Concepcion-Magalang road. It caused a monster traffic jam.

When I eventually got there, there were no crowds. Just a few people doing some last-minute painting. I lit candles for my father and 2 brothers. It had been a couple of years since I last visited. I felt a little guilty that I hadn't visited. I kept trying to shut out that part of my life, the memory of their death. I've dealt with reality of it, but I'd rather not think about it.

After I said my prayers I took a pair of cigarrettes from my shirt pocket. I had quit 10 months ago due to gastric problems. I lit one of them. It was my first cigarrette in 10 months. It tasted familiar, albeit awful. Each draw was comforting, though. It was almost relaxing. I took the other cigarrette and placed it on my father's gravestone. I then whispered, "One last draw, Dad. One last draw. You've always wanted one, up until the day that you died. I prayed for the day that I could stop smoking myself. The day has come. I don't want to put the same burden on my son."

"I'm sorry that we could'nt get along all the time. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect son that you hoped for. I'm sorry that I didn't have the courage to tell you why I did what I did. That would've made it easier for you to understand your son. I'm sorry I was as proud as you were. So proud that I couldn't admit when you were the one who was right."

"Let's make our peace, Dad. I need to live a better life, for my son. Let's make our peace and be done with it. One last draw, like you always wanted. It ends here."

Having said that, I threw away my last cigarrette.

Tonight, I came back to the night shift. I return to the perpetually alluring comfort that is the night. And like a prodigal son returning home I came to her, and she welcomed me. I've always like the graveyard shift. There's a certain feel to it, a certain mystical charm that always makes me feel welcome. Could it be the cool embrace of the early morning air? Could it be the deliberate easy pace that everyone takes? Or maybe I'm just a night person.

The night continues to inspire me. It has in the past helped me create wonderful articles and a few notable poems. It has comforted me during my lonesome days. The night has always been there to provide closure. Maybe I like to stay awake at night because I'm simply a sentimental person and closure is hard to accept. Whatever it is, I feel welcome. I'm glad I'm back.

The only thing that bothers me is the fact that I miss my son. It's my first night and I already miss him :-[

An Open Letter To George W.

Dear Mr. President,

I would like to take this oportunity to thank you for visiting the Philippines. It is with great honor that we receive you. Please be assured that we will take any means necessary to ensure your safety and comfort.

Your safety is our utmost concern. Rightly so. We have no desire whatsoever to be subjugated like Iraq and Afghanistan. We plan to make your trip here as safe as possible. We've trained our airport police squads in bomb detection. Please be assured that the accidental blast in a NAIA building a few weeks ago was a learning experience. The sacrifice of the officers involved will not go to waste. We've trained our very first Light Reaction Company under the auspices of your military. Our pilots have also been having a ball doing exercises with your military pilots. Some did lament that you had far more superior aircraft that was the only thing they learned from the exercises. Maybe you could spare us a few more donations so we could spruce up our Air Force. We could use some of those 20-year old Hornets to replace our 40-year old Phantoms.

Those Hornets could do us a lot fo good in Mindanao. Speaking of Mindanao, we've been a gracious host to your covert ops teams there. They've helped us a great deal. Might I add sir that they really do kick some terribble "ass"! Together with our indominable pinoy foot soldiers-cum-bodyguards for the US soldiers, we've been successful in erradicating the Abu Sayyaf terrorists along with a considerable number of legitimate of muslim secessionists. That was a calculated move to target their potential recruiting efforts. I know that you will be proud to know that the move is in keeping with the tactics that your military taught ours -- that is, to kill a fly with a sledgehammer. That very same principle has worked miracles for our military in the last 50 or so years, save for bad press when the international community found out.

We have also spared no expense to make your 8-hour stay here as memorable as possible. Nevermind that the money we're spending could well feed a multitude of our slum-dwellers for a few weeks. They're a bunch of drugged-up junkies anyway. We're better of spending the money on decorations and a US$1,000 a plate dinner for you and your entourage. We've also arranged to import a few tons of pork rinds and pretzels from the US. We know that you like them so much. The deal will also foster closer economic ties between our respective countries.

There's alot riding on your visit. Exactly what, only our benevolent leaders know. Enjoy your visit here, sir! Mabuhay!

I missed a milestone in my baby's life. He walked his first unassisted steps last Friday. I was at work at the time. He walked an incredible 11 paces.

This morning, he started to move on to something else as well. He used to a lot of new stuff (be it toys or household objects) into his mouth. If its something new, it will find itself in his mouth. He now plays with the things he finds. He drops lids on the floor to see if they bounce as well as his plastic alphabet set. He still puts his thumb into his mouth, though.

He's also discovering doors. He keeps opening and closing them. We now have to constantly check if the screen doors are locked.

Speaking of new discoveries, Discovery channel is running a new series about the Human Baby. Pretty startling what research is uncovering about how and how fast we (humans) learn as babies. It airs every Tuesday, 11pm (PI Time).

The other day, I saw a lot of these upright streamers hung along the road that goes the length of Clarkfield. Here's how I reacted:

"Slogan"
[My thoughts]

"GMA means progress"
[Hell, yeah! Look at all the progress we've achieved digging ourselves deeper into foreign debt.]

"GMA means jobs"
[Jobs! Yes! LOST JOBS! A lot of people already lost theirs in the last 2 yrs of her presidency. Hello???]

"GMA means democracy"
[What democracy??? ]

"GMA means fights against drugs"
[Uh, okey. I'll just tell the neighborhood meth peddler that the prez is looking him.]

"GMA means education"
[We sure need a lot of that. Just look at the previous slogan.]

"GMA means youth development"
[Okey, I'll just have to hide the memory of begging 4-yr olds in my subconscious.]

It's a pity the Kris-Joey thing ended so soon. I could've endured that longer than the Chinovela craze. Yesterday, when the story broke out, everyone was talking about why Kris conceded so easily. It seems everyone has an opinion as to why. Personally, I would've have preferred taking the man to court. Dura Lex, Sed Lex. Let the man suffer for his arrogant ways.

Anyway, tonight's shuttle ride home was unbearably hair-raising. Nobody was talking about Kris and Joey. Unfortunately,they were back to Chinovelas. Some of the people in the jeep were evern practicing Mandarin (of all things!) phrases. At the end of the ride, they said their goodbyes in Mandarin. What has come to this country that we have been relegated to being Chinese wannabe's. If you wanna learn the language, learn it so you can use it to communicate. Learn it so you could enrich yourself. Don't try to learn it to be "in". It makes you look more idiotic, considering you already are stupid (redundancy intended).